Idol Challenge 04 - Goofy Mothman

Day #4 - If the Idol Was a Boy, Who Would Be Your Boyfriend?

Too bad Yossie's no longer in Hello!Project. There's never been a girl past or present in the Project that embodies the ideal handsome guy like Yossie does. And she's so easy for me to fangirl over obviously.

But I'm doing this challenge on current members of H!P. And it's really hard to see through all the pink and glitter (which is admittedly becoming more accepted among the men of today) to make a secure decision, but I'll try.

Kanon Suzuki from Morning Musume would probably be a good boyfriend (in another five years, har har.) Man!Zukki would always provide entertainment for his girlfriend, imitating bugs or annoying the cashier at the grocer by making silly faces. And even when the cashier chases him down and cracks his skull with a price scanner, Man!Zukki would still be smiling!

Yes, Man!Zukki would be eternally happy and puppy-like. If you are feeling sad, that won't last long when he throws his arms around you comfortingly and then tries to imitate a love bug with you. The complete opposite of a Momo Attack!

The only thing to be careful with is buying clothes for Man!Zukki. If he wears the same sweater you bought him almost every day, it's a sign of love and appreciation! It might be wise to offer to do his laundry.

New tomboy members Akari Takeuchi (S/mileage) and Haruka Kudo (Morning Musume) are runners up. I haven't seen a lot of Take-chan's personality yet, but she seems cool and protective. The same with Haruka, except she has an epic manly voice. But she's so blunt, Man!Kuduu could be cluelessly borderline-abusive and he'd be such a jock with little patience for pale, nerdy shut-ins (like myself.)

Notice how I avoid addressing myself directly as the boyfriend or girlfriend in these romance-themed questions? I'm not very romantic. It makes me uncomfortable. I'd rather just laugh at my idols, not date them. XD

Idol Challenge 03 - Playful Poison

Day #3 - If You Are or Were a Boy Who Would Be Your Girlfriend?

Sayumi Michishige! She's both cute and absolutely gorgeous! I imagine she's the type of girlfriend that you can get into playful arguments with, her poison tongue making "fights" particularly entertaining, and then afterwards she'd be super sweet and *ahem* apologize.

Sayu would also be the perfect girlfriend for sharing a love of idols with! Going on dates to the concert hall, opening Christmas presents of idol goods... I just think I'd get slapped when I told her Momo is my number one. But it'd be a cute slap. Preferably with those oversized yellow gloves from the "Kare to" music video. Aww...

H!P 101 - Introduction

Current H!P minus four new members.

Note: This is the original introduction to Hello!Project I wrote for a friend (the H!P 101 document that inspired me to make this series.) Reading it now, it seems kind of lecture-y. So after the next video link, I'll give my own reasons for my passion for Hello!Project. Tell me which one is better! :)


Before diving into the world of Hello! Project (H!P), one must realize these girls are idols. Most of them can at least hold a tune and some of them have outstanding talent, but the key to appreciating them is not to scrutinize their singing ability but how they play on their audience’s feelings. That’s not to say you can’t expect them to sing better. But they are work-in-progress talents, and fans watch them improve and root them on. Sometimes I liken idols to football teams (complete with their own special colors for fans to identify with) because of how their fans cheer them on and get excited for their group’s success.

One of the appeals of Hello! Project’s idols is that they tend to have pronounced personalities, so watching them interact with each other on television is like watching a sitcom. (I think one of the reasons I fell in love with H!P is because I’m also a big fan of The Monkees and their TV show.) You can pick your favorite “character” in the group, follow her and collect her merchandise. When a member is ready to move on, either through furthering her career or retiring to a normal civilian life, she “graduates” in an elaborate ceremony at the end of a concert tour (with some exceptions, like girls that are fired or resign suddenly.)

And this is how H!P stays so young. Like stars, new groups and members are added and old ones graduate and fade. Morning Musume is now the only group that has stayed in H!P from the beginning, but none of the original members remain in H!P now.

Old-school Legends of H!P.

Why I love Hello!Project:

1. I find the manufactured personalities fascinating. Being the nerd I am, I like finding the personality "type" of each girl. I like the different characters interacting in character-based comedy. It's fun to see what happens when a girl has two "types." And even if I think I won't like a girl because of her "type", sometimes she turns out to be really likable and hilarious. I like those surprises.

2. Said personalities allow me to remain detached from the actual girls. One of the things that makes me uncomfortable with following celebrities and bands is that I feel I'm nosing around too much in their personal life. I prefer to be a fan of what they do than who they are. But idols have personae, so following their life (the one they allow us to see, the one they create) is like watching a television show. Because in most cases, it IS a television show. Reality television tends to make me feel sad or angry after watching it. But the fake reality of idols makes me happy and gives me giggles. It's magical, it's hard to explain.

3. Nerd facts and collecting! Idols have a running narrative, so you're in on the in-jokes if you're a regular watcher (and they can be repetitive so you can get in the know pretty fast after several appearances.) There's lots of trivia to remember. And history! Much like the thrill of being able to name all the Pokemon or know the weather patterns of all the planets in Star Wars, all the information is fun to gobble up. And if there were Barbie dolls of the H!P members, I'd totally collect them. It's a big nerd playground in H!P!

4. Cheering on particular groups and girls has the thrill of cheering on a sports team! It's fun to pick a number one and root on her with all your heart. It's sad if she isn't popular and doesn't get to do much, but every little victory, whether it's a solo line or a photobook will make you so happy and proud of her.

5. The music has variety and is generally very catchy! There are a lot of fun songs. There are a lot of cool songs, cute songs, beautiful songs, and even "just blew up the cat" crazy songs. And if I'm not too keen on one song, I can hope that I'll like a future one. Because H!P changes its underwear regularly and there are plenty of groups to hop between as well as old songs to keep me entertained.

6. It changes. Old girls graduate. New girls enter. Groups disband and new groups are promoted. New material is constantly coming out. When the machine stops and there is only the past to look back on, it's hard to be so constantly interested. But I hope I don't have to worry about that with Hello!Project for the foreseeable future.

But wait? All of these points describe most idol groups and idol collectives. But H!P has an aura, a vibe that feels right to me. And maybe it will suck you in, too. Maybe it won't. Maybe you'll find a different idol group to become a fan of. I'm here to give a starting point to decide whether any of Hello!Project's offerings are right for you. And I'll even include a section for other main idol groups so you can see if you like idols, just not H!P. So let's start with the current main acts in Hello!Project...

Morning Musume - A varied group with a long history, ever-changing members, and different sounds.
Berryz Koubou - Kids that grew into adults (except an insane midget) and their music and videos reflect that. Kind of goofy.
℃-ute - A synchronized, streamlined group known for their dancing.
Erina Mano - The ballady soloist.
S/mileage - Cutesy silly chipmunks.
Buono! - Pop-rock combination of 2 Berryz and 1 ℃-ute. Used to sing theme songs for the anime Shugo Chara.

If you are already a fan and you see something not right about my guide, please speak up! I want this to be something fans can refer their friends to! I'm not perfect, I even forgot Mai's concert color for some time (I still thought it was purple last month), so I'm open to suggestions and corrections!

Also! Check out these other guides to idols if you are interested in seeing what the idol fandom in general has to offer!

- Idol Theory 101 - Essays about idols in general.
- A brief history of Johnny's - The boy idol monopoly.
- Supermelion's article on AKB48, Team A, Team K, and Team B - Out of date, but a good starting guide for putting names to faces and knowing what AKB48 is all about.
- Aitakatta's AKB48 Glossary and Guide to Members - Another good guide.
- Aly B's Blog on Hello!Online - Dig around and find essays on EVERY Morning Musume girl ever, aside from the tenth (newest) generation.
- Fudanjuku Pimp Post - Guide to the crossdressing "all-boys" school themed group.

If you can think of any more, even H!P ones, please tell me so I can add it to this list! :)

Idol Challenge 02 - Holy Moley

Day #2: The Idol You Hate or Dislike

Yuuka Maeda of S/mileage. Something about her gave me bad vibes ever since she was added to the unit High-King. And the not always having a real smile and seeming out of it look that people claimed to see when the auditions for the second gen S/mileage were announced? Yuuka has been like that since at least right before S/mileage officially debuted, as far back as 2009.

I personally think she's stuck-up and she's such a terrible actress that she can't hide it. The other H!P members compliment how cute and sweet she is. Like they are trying to re-enforce an act that isn't being performed well. Yes, I'm suggesting some of their anecdotes are manufactured by the staff to tell the fans what kind of idol Yuuka is supposed to be. An idol persona needs to be shown, not told, and that is where she fails for me. She may be cute on the outside, but I'm not seeing the sweetness. I just get mad seeing her.

One may think I'm happy that she's leaving at the end of this year. But it's complicated and that thought is better for a different post.

I don't know who I"m going to dislike most next when she leaves. Probably Mai Hagiwara from C-ute. I don't like her bratty personality, but somehow it doesn't taint her image for me like Yuuka. Sometimes I find Maimai incredibly cute, even. I almost want to like her, which I can't say for Yuuka.

And new S/mileage member Rina Katsuta is just there. That might actually be the worst position to be in as an idol. But I can't dislike her so much.

Now for an entire group that I dislike purely for stupid, superficial reasons, look no further than AKB48 subgroup French Kiss.

Left to right - Ex-Marine Mammal, Holier Than Aika, Mr. Censored

Yuki Kashiwagi - I don't like how she is constantly used as an example of H!P making bad decisions. Aika is usually hated on in such discussions because Aika passed the same Morning Musume audition Yukirin failed. And I actually like Aika best, so there. (Yup, butthurt Aika fan here, though the poor girl doesn't even make my top ten list anymore.)

Asuka Kuramochi - She used to look like a beaver and that scared me. Also, she reminds me of a roommate I had that would come back to the apartment at 4 AM and bang on the door because she was too drunk to use her keys.

Aki Takajo - She reminds me of one of my high school history teachers. He probably doesn't look as good in a bikini, but something about their faces is similar. It's creepy. He's wasn't a bad teacher, but I don't exactly want to think of him in a frilly white dress dancing around singing pop songs. No. Just no.

And that's it for today! I didn't mean to offend anyone with these opinions. I know some were mean and stupid, but I'm being honest about how I feel. Things should be more positive on this blog from here on out. Unless Moley is mentioned again. Or the girls I never want to French Kiss.

Idol Challenge 01 - Insane Princess Peach

I'm going to sneak this in before December 1st officially ends for me... the first of the 30 Day Idol Challenge posts!

Day #1: Your Favorite Idol

Definitely Momoko Tsugunaga from Berryz Koubou and Buono! Her personality is almost always entertaining to watch. And by almost, I mean sometimes her overacting is too much (like after the main prank in Berryz' Alo-Hello) and I want to slap her. But now television hosts and other H!P girls slap her around for me, so it's all good.

So yeah, I tend to like annoying characters. As long as she's pissing off everyone but me, I adore her.

Momo is also an idol I can respect. Her over the top character is so obviously fake, that the glimpses into her real life are more interesting than a let down. She seems to be an ambitious, reserved, intelligent girl behind the scenes. She's studying elementary education at university while being a super active idol in two groups (thus she already has a job lined up so she won't be in granny idol limbo in the next six or seven years!) And she already seems to be a mentor to the younger members. I have a lot of hope for young Kudo just knowing Momo's been working with her. You may laugh, but I think she's similar to Yossie behind the scenes, a humorous but helpful big sister type.

I like both worlds of Momo: the world she self-awarely lets us see and the world we glimpse from facts and the hearsay of other members.

Oh, and she's a fan of Pokemon. I gotta love her for that.

Re-Introduction

I'm going to start updating this blog like I keep saying I will. And one of the reasons that I really want to is that I talk about Hello!Project a good fraction of the time I actually talk. My friends and family have no idea what's going on. They try to follow along, and can remember that I obsess over a girl called Momo (and tease me for it.) But it's hard to get them interested aside from occasionally getting them to like a song.

But I've also realized, that if I even want a chance to get a friend interested, my first step should be to shut my mouth. I get really passionate when talking about my idols and that can be both hard to follow and uncomfortably frightening at the same time (do my friends really want to get involved in a fandom that's almost religious at times?) I need to have something there for them to look over on their own time, if they want to, instead of me terrifying them every time I see them.

So I'm aiming this blog at people who are new to the fandom, H!P-curious, or for fans that want to redirect their own friends, too. It's bait, if you will. But I hope even long-time fans can find something interesting in my blog, as well. I will have reviews and articles, and maybe some of the videos and funny stuff I post will at least be fun reminders. Oh! And I do fanart of idols. Mostly H!P, but some AKB48 as well.

To keep myself myself motivated, I've made out a schedule:

(Note: I intended to start at the end of October, but NaNo happened, so I'm doubling up on some posts for December. And the first week will be off a little because I'm not ready to post yet.)

Mondays: A review or article.
Tuesdays: An idol of the week.
Wednesdays: A chibi (and MLP, because I'm nerdy like that) sketch of the idol of the week. I want to get better at these styles.
Thursdays: Retro Idol Time!
Fridays: H!P Funny of the Week (a video or a picture or translation that is hilarious.)
Saturdays: H!P 101
Sundays: Fanart Time!

Wednesdays will also rotate between rival spotlights, a ranking, an egg of the month, and some pimping of some fanart related projects.

I will also try the 30 Day Idol Challenge because I'm the over ambitious sort.

I only get on the computer about two or three days a week, though, so I'm going to have to make use of the scheduled post time feature. So I'll be cheating on the Challenge, but blah. I'm working on lots of other projects and it helps to have Internet-free days. But I'm always open to feedback, so if I don't reply for several days, do not worry!

It's late and I'm tired, but by the end of this week, there should be some posts here. Goodnight!