Idol Challenge 06 - My Little Pygmies

Day #6 - Favorite Sub-Group?

My Little Pygmies, Gen 3

I consider Buono! a regular group, not a sub-group... so my favorite sub-group would be both past and (sort of) present Minimoni! The concept of a group of shorties appealed to me because I'm a short myself. And Aibon and Nono (and Mari, the third H!P girl I noticed and became a fan of) were in it. And I really like cutesy, catchy music because it's fun and I can troll people.

The current line-up is just as cute, and its formation allowed me to recognize Karin's singing talent and charisma instead of always thinking of her as a creepy alien-child (where did the whites of her eyes go?!) The revamped group doesn't have as much distinct vocals (the loss of Lin Lin completely destroyed what was unique.) And they lack the chemistry of the original. But their music is still super cute, as are their voices, so hopefully they'll add another cute shorty and continue to sing as a group. I'm sure new leader Kanyon could make the group interesting again with her new ramped-up "evil brat" personality.

My Little Pygmies, Gen 1

Gen 2 let a normal sized person in and she ruined it. D:<

Idol Challenge 05 - History Lesson

Day #5 - Favorite Group?

Morning Musume! Though it actually was Buono! for quite a while. But Morning Musume and S/mileage have been getting more interesting again due to all their changes. Also, I've been liking the music of the "CHANGE" (to add an Obama-ism) groups more lately. But that could change (oh ho!) with Buono!'s next single, right? Idol music can be a mixed bag, so H!P's many groups can keep you in the same circle if one group fails to interest at a particular point in time. So I decided the answer to this question mathematically (sort of.)

All three of Buono!'s members are in my top ten. My top ten consists of four Musume, two Berryz, two C-ute, and two S/mileage. Only one member of Buono!/Berryz is in my top five. Same with S/mileage. But three are from Morning Musume. So Morning Musume has more of my most liked members. Mathematical!

This was also the first group I followed. I was led into H!P by W, but then they kind of had some problems, so I never actually got to follow them when they were active, so I went straight for their mother group. I like studying Morning Musume history, and they are always doing little throwbacks, from past songs to trivia to similar costumes (or lines.) (I just hope they aren't just being cheap. I'll pretend they aren't just being cheap.)

Sorry Momo. Maybe you should join Morning Musume as a "Gen Momo!" You could be leader of H!P after Gaki graduates.

Momo may be my number one, but she's not a group, and her mere presence does not make me like a group best overall. I genuinely liked Buono!'s image and songs and members best for a couple years, but now that Morning Musume has rumbled to life again, I was sucked back.

Idol Challenge 04 - Goofy Mothman

Day #4 - If the Idol Was a Boy, Who Would Be Your Boyfriend?

Too bad Yossie's no longer in Hello!Project. There's never been a girl past or present in the Project that embodies the ideal handsome guy like Yossie does. And she's so easy for me to fangirl over obviously.

But I'm doing this challenge on current members of H!P. And it's really hard to see through all the pink and glitter (which is admittedly becoming more accepted among the men of today) to make a secure decision, but I'll try.

Kanon Suzuki from Morning Musume would probably be a good boyfriend (in another five years, har har.) Man!Zukki would always provide entertainment for his girlfriend, imitating bugs or annoying the cashier at the grocer by making silly faces. And even when the cashier chases him down and cracks his skull with a price scanner, Man!Zukki would still be smiling!

Yes, Man!Zukki would be eternally happy and puppy-like. If you are feeling sad, that won't last long when he throws his arms around you comfortingly and then tries to imitate a love bug with you. The complete opposite of a Momo Attack!

The only thing to be careful with is buying clothes for Man!Zukki. If he wears the same sweater you bought him almost every day, it's a sign of love and appreciation! It might be wise to offer to do his laundry.

New tomboy members Akari Takeuchi (S/mileage) and Haruka Kudo (Morning Musume) are runners up. I haven't seen a lot of Take-chan's personality yet, but she seems cool and protective. The same with Haruka, except she has an epic manly voice. But she's so blunt, Man!Kuduu could be cluelessly borderline-abusive and he'd be such a jock with little patience for pale, nerdy shut-ins (like myself.)

Notice how I avoid addressing myself directly as the boyfriend or girlfriend in these romance-themed questions? I'm not very romantic. It makes me uncomfortable. I'd rather just laugh at my idols, not date them. XD

Idol Challenge 03 - Playful Poison

Day #3 - If You Are or Were a Boy Who Would Be Your Girlfriend?

Sayumi Michishige! She's both cute and absolutely gorgeous! I imagine she's the type of girlfriend that you can get into playful arguments with, her poison tongue making "fights" particularly entertaining, and then afterwards she'd be super sweet and *ahem* apologize.

Sayu would also be the perfect girlfriend for sharing a love of idols with! Going on dates to the concert hall, opening Christmas presents of idol goods... I just think I'd get slapped when I told her Momo is my number one. But it'd be a cute slap. Preferably with those oversized yellow gloves from the "Kare to" music video. Aww...

H!P 101 - Introduction

Current H!P minus four new members.

Note: This is the original introduction to Hello!Project I wrote for a friend (the H!P 101 document that inspired me to make this series.) Reading it now, it seems kind of lecture-y. So after the next video link, I'll give my own reasons for my passion for Hello!Project. Tell me which one is better! :)


Before diving into the world of Hello! Project (H!P), one must realize these girls are idols. Most of them can at least hold a tune and some of them have outstanding talent, but the key to appreciating them is not to scrutinize their singing ability but how they play on their audience’s feelings. That’s not to say you can’t expect them to sing better. But they are work-in-progress talents, and fans watch them improve and root them on. Sometimes I liken idols to football teams (complete with their own special colors for fans to identify with) because of how their fans cheer them on and get excited for their group’s success.

One of the appeals of Hello! Project’s idols is that they tend to have pronounced personalities, so watching them interact with each other on television is like watching a sitcom. (I think one of the reasons I fell in love with H!P is because I’m also a big fan of The Monkees and their TV show.) You can pick your favorite “character” in the group, follow her and collect her merchandise. When a member is ready to move on, either through furthering her career or retiring to a normal civilian life, she “graduates” in an elaborate ceremony at the end of a concert tour (with some exceptions, like girls that are fired or resign suddenly.)

And this is how H!P stays so young. Like stars, new groups and members are added and old ones graduate and fade. Morning Musume is now the only group that has stayed in H!P from the beginning, but none of the original members remain in H!P now.

Old-school Legends of H!P.

Why I love Hello!Project:

1. I find the manufactured personalities fascinating. Being the nerd I am, I like finding the personality "type" of each girl. I like the different characters interacting in character-based comedy. It's fun to see what happens when a girl has two "types." And even if I think I won't like a girl because of her "type", sometimes she turns out to be really likable and hilarious. I like those surprises.

2. Said personalities allow me to remain detached from the actual girls. One of the things that makes me uncomfortable with following celebrities and bands is that I feel I'm nosing around too much in their personal life. I prefer to be a fan of what they do than who they are. But idols have personae, so following their life (the one they allow us to see, the one they create) is like watching a television show. Because in most cases, it IS a television show. Reality television tends to make me feel sad or angry after watching it. But the fake reality of idols makes me happy and gives me giggles. It's magical, it's hard to explain.

3. Nerd facts and collecting! Idols have a running narrative, so you're in on the in-jokes if you're a regular watcher (and they can be repetitive so you can get in the know pretty fast after several appearances.) There's lots of trivia to remember. And history! Much like the thrill of being able to name all the Pokemon or know the weather patterns of all the planets in Star Wars, all the information is fun to gobble up. And if there were Barbie dolls of the H!P members, I'd totally collect them. It's a big nerd playground in H!P!

4. Cheering on particular groups and girls has the thrill of cheering on a sports team! It's fun to pick a number one and root on her with all your heart. It's sad if she isn't popular and doesn't get to do much, but every little victory, whether it's a solo line or a photobook will make you so happy and proud of her.

5. The music has variety and is generally very catchy! There are a lot of fun songs. There are a lot of cool songs, cute songs, beautiful songs, and even "just blew up the cat" crazy songs. And if I'm not too keen on one song, I can hope that I'll like a future one. Because H!P changes its underwear regularly and there are plenty of groups to hop between as well as old songs to keep me entertained.

6. It changes. Old girls graduate. New girls enter. Groups disband and new groups are promoted. New material is constantly coming out. When the machine stops and there is only the past to look back on, it's hard to be so constantly interested. But I hope I don't have to worry about that with Hello!Project for the foreseeable future.

But wait? All of these points describe most idol groups and idol collectives. But H!P has an aura, a vibe that feels right to me. And maybe it will suck you in, too. Maybe it won't. Maybe you'll find a different idol group to become a fan of. I'm here to give a starting point to decide whether any of Hello!Project's offerings are right for you. And I'll even include a section for other main idol groups so you can see if you like idols, just not H!P. So let's start with the current main acts in Hello!Project...

Morning Musume - A varied group with a long history, ever-changing members, and different sounds.
Berryz Koubou - Kids that grew into adults (except an insane midget) and their music and videos reflect that. Kind of goofy.
℃-ute - A synchronized, streamlined group known for their dancing.
Erina Mano - The ballady soloist.
S/mileage - Cutesy silly chipmunks.
Buono! - Pop-rock combination of 2 Berryz and 1 ℃-ute. Used to sing theme songs for the anime Shugo Chara.

If you are already a fan and you see something not right about my guide, please speak up! I want this to be something fans can refer their friends to! I'm not perfect, I even forgot Mai's concert color for some time (I still thought it was purple last month), so I'm open to suggestions and corrections!

Also! Check out these other guides to idols if you are interested in seeing what the idol fandom in general has to offer!

- Idol Theory 101 - Essays about idols in general.
- A brief history of Johnny's - The boy idol monopoly.
- Supermelion's article on AKB48, Team A, Team K, and Team B - Out of date, but a good starting guide for putting names to faces and knowing what AKB48 is all about.
- Aitakatta's AKB48 Glossary and Guide to Members - Another good guide.
- Aly B's Blog on Hello!Online - Dig around and find essays on EVERY Morning Musume girl ever, aside from the tenth (newest) generation.
- Fudanjuku Pimp Post - Guide to the crossdressing "all-boys" school themed group.

If you can think of any more, even H!P ones, please tell me so I can add it to this list! :)

Idol Challenge 02 - Holy Moley

Day #2: The Idol You Hate or Dislike

Yuuka Maeda of S/mileage. Something about her gave me bad vibes ever since she was added to the unit High-King. And the not always having a real smile and seeming out of it look that people claimed to see when the auditions for the second gen S/mileage were announced? Yuuka has been like that since at least right before S/mileage officially debuted, as far back as 2009.

I personally think she's stuck-up and she's such a terrible actress that she can't hide it. The other H!P members compliment how cute and sweet she is. Like they are trying to re-enforce an act that isn't being performed well. Yes, I'm suggesting some of their anecdotes are manufactured by the staff to tell the fans what kind of idol Yuuka is supposed to be. An idol persona needs to be shown, not told, and that is where she fails for me. She may be cute on the outside, but I'm not seeing the sweetness. I just get mad seeing her.

One may think I'm happy that she's leaving at the end of this year. But it's complicated and that thought is better for a different post.

I don't know who I"m going to dislike most next when she leaves. Probably Mai Hagiwara from C-ute. I don't like her bratty personality, but somehow it doesn't taint her image for me like Yuuka. Sometimes I find Maimai incredibly cute, even. I almost want to like her, which I can't say for Yuuka.

And new S/mileage member Rina Katsuta is just there. That might actually be the worst position to be in as an idol. But I can't dislike her so much.

Now for an entire group that I dislike purely for stupid, superficial reasons, look no further than AKB48 subgroup French Kiss.

Left to right - Ex-Marine Mammal, Holier Than Aika, Mr. Censored

Yuki Kashiwagi - I don't like how she is constantly used as an example of H!P making bad decisions. Aika is usually hated on in such discussions because Aika passed the same Morning Musume audition Yukirin failed. And I actually like Aika best, so there. (Yup, butthurt Aika fan here, though the poor girl doesn't even make my top ten list anymore.)

Asuka Kuramochi - She used to look like a beaver and that scared me. Also, she reminds me of a roommate I had that would come back to the apartment at 4 AM and bang on the door because she was too drunk to use her keys.

Aki Takajo - She reminds me of one of my high school history teachers. He probably doesn't look as good in a bikini, but something about their faces is similar. It's creepy. He's wasn't a bad teacher, but I don't exactly want to think of him in a frilly white dress dancing around singing pop songs. No. Just no.

And that's it for today! I didn't mean to offend anyone with these opinions. I know some were mean and stupid, but I'm being honest about how I feel. Things should be more positive on this blog from here on out. Unless Moley is mentioned again. Or the girls I never want to French Kiss.